7 months old

Today we celebrated the birthdays of 2 family members both are uncles / brother-in-laws. I am not sure if Ryan was unhappy to share the day of celebration cause it took away from his 7 month birthday. So he had a tummy ache that made him cry a lot.


But just the same I would like to mark the occasion how I always try to do and that is with some fun pictures.


Ryan is at such an adorable age. He is very interactive and, probably cause he is the second, he wants to always be with people and be involved. Ryan wants to hurry and get bigger cause he is frustrated that his body can't crawl, grip things better, feed himself, run, walk and jump.

He still only has two teeth. They are coming up a lot more. Ryan fights sleeping and napping more but I think he is like how Brody was and is constantly teething. He is eating a lot more baby food. Last time we went to the doctor he is 18 1/2 pounds! We are working on our sitting up and tummy time so that hopefully he can crawl soon. I say that not cause I want him to cause I know he will be everywhere but I am only eager for him to do it cause Ryan is VERY frustrated by his lack of movement!

We love our little Ryan

Always trying to be like Daddy!

Coming along...

So the process of getting Brody a diagnosis is slowly coming along. We have an appointment in October to have him seen by a psychologist through Southwest Behavioral Health. Though Brody has been seen by one before when he was about 18 months since he has not improved much the previous evaluation from more than a year and half ago no longer assures us of no autism.


The previous two appointments we had this summer were "gathering information" appointments. I didn't really get that explained to me till I got to the appointments. It just sort of sucks when I go to an appointment feeling like perhaps Brody's condition will become more clear as is the path to help him. Instead it is an hour and half of explaining to staff the things Brody doesn't do and what is wrong with him. Necessary, I know but still quite disheartening. Since I feel I have done that lots in the past year and half.


While that has gone on at the same time our pediatrician referred us a couple months ago to a developmental and behavioral pediatrician. I know we already had something going with Southwest Behavioral Health but just the same I wouldn't mind getting Brody into a couple specialists. Besides this doctor is beyond qualified and his specialty is rare so I think a diagnosis, advice and direction from him would be imperative.


It took about 6 weeks just to have an opening for new patients and then a few more weeks to even get the paperwork to fill out about Brody. They require so much information from the preschool and pasts therapist and those sort of things. I had to gather it up and send it in before our first appointment.


So I am saying all this cause yesterday was our first visit to that dr's office. It was with a nurse practitioner who specializes in the same area. It was also a "gathering information" appointment. She was really nice and really helpful with immediate advice for Brody's sleep problem (he doesn't get nearly enough and that has been since last summer - a child his age shouldn't have dark circles under his eyes). The result was what Jake and I have been preparing ourselves for - "at risk for an autistic diagnosis". Since she is a nurse she cannot give a diagnosis. That will be left up to the dr. But she went through the correct forms and checklists that shows the extreme likelihood Brody is on the Autistic Spectrum. But she said some hopeful words, "he is most likely autistic based on this information but there are many autistic habits and behaviors that Brody does not display". That might sound strange but it helps to know that if Brody is autistic he is not very severe.


I have papers and forms to fill out in preparation for the next appointment that will be with the dr. It will help come to a conclusion of where Brody might be on the Autism Spectrum. Since the dr's specialty is so rare and the rate of children with autism and disorders like it are increasing in a crazy amount it is no surprise that the soonest our next appointment can be with the dr isn't until December. Although that sucks that we have to wait I guess there isn't much I can do.

In the meantime my family and I are working towards helping Brody get healthy with more sleep and a diet that has helped many autistic children. These are the only things currently I can do to help him. We pray and hope for the best results. Also I have him back in many different therapies since he is on long term care so I am hoping between that and preschool Brody will start to slowly improve.


I am just trying to calm my brain from going back and forth from being sad about Brody's imminent diagnosis and its possible causes that frustrates me AND being hopeful for a change in Brody that I long for.


Sorry, I guess my posts have been such downers lately. But why be fake, this is my life, why act as though my life is anything but the reality that it is.


To leave on a cheerful note I will follow with pictures of my adorable boys. I love them so

Waiting for the bus and playing with cars

Always loving the outdoors

My sweet boy

As close as I could get to a picture of them both!

One of the few words he can say is "cookies"

Dressed for church - yes that is a pink shirt!!

Can you tell I love babies in "dress" clothes

This is what he looked like before I cut his "bangs" off

First time in grass

Changing my life and the life of our family

As we are still working on the many appointments to get Brody re-evaluated and a diagnosis the very big possibility and reality of Autism is here. My dear sister Jada had me read...

Despite some cursing which of course didn't offend me cause I cared more about the content and message of the book more so - this is an amazing book. If you have a loved one or family member who is affected by the disorder of Autism READ THIS BOOK. Autism is an epidemic - 1 out of 94 boys are affected!!!!!!!

I am sad, upset, overwhelmed but at the same time empowered and hopeful (not sure if it possible to feel all of those) with Brody's future. Changes can be implemented to help him and some can be done before he is even diagnosed.

Not that this is an announcement that Brody is Autistic but I thought I'd share what has been eating up my time on the phone, Internet and my brain!

Little video of my little guy

Just something that makes me smile!

Trials

I have had some random thoughts lately. Looking for somewhere to record them and remembered that my blog is where I have been keeping what some would say resembles a journal. So though this is a little more public than I'd like it is my outlet for these thoughts.

Some of the thoughts I have had lately are inspired by personal experience. On Sunday one of the speakers talked about trials. I have heard much over my teenage and young adult years about how trials are necessary for our human experience AND how trials make us stronger AND how in the eternities we will look back on some of our human trials and think that it was such a short moment.

When going through trials I think those thoughts and it helps. It helps put things into perspective. But on the really difficult days, especially lately, on days when I feel that my son will remain "different" his whole life - it doesn't help.

Worries of wondering if Brody will be able to ever talk. Will the day come that I can have a conversation with Brody. If Brody will ever look at me and say "Mommy". If Brody will have friends. Will Brody go to school in a regular classroom. As he grows up can he lead a "normal" life?

With those discouraging thoughts and many more it is difficult for me to gain the perspective to see past my trial or more importantly try to look at the trial and help it make me stronger. On those days I pray more. I try to look for answers in the scriptures. Most days I find comfort. Lately I feel as though comfort is the answer. Comfort from a Heavenly Father telling me that he has comforted many more for much more serious and grievous problems. The comfort we receive from Him is that we are loved and not alone.

Lately I have been very affected by the story of Stephanie Nielson. She is a girl close to my age with a very popular blog. Last year she was in a plane crash that left her very badly burned. Last year she almost died from her injuries. Stephanie's entries on her blog have really helped me realize to face your problems and trials head on and with courage. The other day Stephanie posted the first picture of herself after the crash. I am sure it wasn't easy for her but she did it with the courage of a hero. For anyone who reads her blog you know that Stephanie is first and foremost a mother. I am sure her injuries have kept her from being the mother she was before. Sometimes when I am overwhelmed with dealing with Brody or sadden by his unknown future I think of her and remind myself that I am a mother blessed with the health to take care of my children without limitations.

Trials come to all. As humans it is only our attitude we can control. I need an attitude adjustment. Most importantly I need to do all I can to get Brody the helps he needs and then the rest will be faith in the Lord to take care of the rest.

6 months

My little baby Ry guy or Ry Ry as well call him is 6 months on August 13th! Crazy how fast it has gone by. I am not sure if I am busy with Brody and Ryan this time around but when it was just Brody those first 6 months were so slow to go by. Not that I cared much. I loved lying by him and just staring at him. I didn't work at the time so I just soaked up all of the time I had with him cause I knew I would have to find a way to earn some extra money. Looking back I am so glad I had those first six months. Brody and I would take naps together and I would entertain him a lot. Poor Ryan just has me, Brody and Evan to entertain him by watching me go everywhere doing all sorts of things and watching Brody and Evan running and playing with toys he can't reach and even if he could he doesn't have the motor skills to really hold them yet! I mean he still gets enough attention but it is different being the second born for sure.


Ryan has two teeth, rolls over, tries to eat his feet and somehow he moves a lot without actually crawling. Ryan hats tummy time and tells me by screaming, crying and spitting up! He loves interaction though. Singing and talking to him and just plain eye contact is enough to make him smile and giggle - like you have made his day. It doesn't matter who you are either. Whether you are Grandma, a cousin or someone who sits behind us at church.


Ryan loves watching Evan and Brody but he is so quick to get frustrated cause he wants to be a big boy. Whether it is a walker or a jumper it is fun for a little while then once he realizes he isn't going anywhere he gets made. Ryan is VERY easily frustrated holding things and trying to get somewhere cause he is desperate to accomplish those things but he doesn't realize he is just a baby. He coos, giggles, squeals and chatters a lot. Ryan LOVES to kick. He eats more and more baby food everyday. I started him on rice cereal at 3 months but wasn't good about giving it to him more than a half a dozen times a week. I have gradually gotten better and when he was 5 months we started on baby food. Ryan has now ate, deluded with rice cereal, bananas, applesauce, peas, pears, carrots and squash. With the teething Ryan has gone from my sweet tempered, great sleeper and happy baby to fussy, fidgety, restless and constantly waking up before nap time is over. Though Ryan is only my second baby, he is following Brody's example. Brody was an angel in every way till he got teeth. So intermittently between the bad teething I will see glimpses of my dear sweet baby Ryan. But that is the life of a baby and the life of the mother taking care of him. No complaining just sharing and recording.


We love our little Ryan. Soon comes the crawling and drooling!!

Recently we got Brody's old walker out. Ryan likes being able to move around...though he has only mastered going backwards. But he is just barely 6 months so we will cut him a break!

Surprise, surprise, look who wants to be in the same thing Ryan plays with!

First time with straight carrots!!

Here is another fun thing for Ryan to play with - now he can work on one of his favorite things to do...jumping!

Thanks Aunt Jada for letting me borrow this

I think this is Ryan's first picture taking a bath!

What a cutie - and his foot is conveniently covering the spot that makes me feel bad about posting naked pictures!!

P.S. Koria left for the MTC today!!

Update on life

Jake finished his first week at University of Phoenix. While he is in training he has a different schedule. It is weird getting used to his new schedule and that his days off are on the weekend. It is nice to temporarily have him home around 5 everyday. Soon he is going to start school. He is so excited about it and we are really hoping his masters in accounting can get him in the direction he wants to go in.

My little sister Koria leaves on her mission to Argentina on Wednesday. Today we will go support her when she speaks at church. I am so happy that she is going. I have so much respect for anyone who dedicates their time to serving the Lord. We will miss her a lot but we are proud of her. When Koria comes back Ryan will be about 2 years old and Brody will be a few months shy of 5 years old!! Crazy to think about it in that way.

My little ones had more ear infections last weekend and some of this week. Lots of fussiness. I had to move up the appointment with the Ear, Nose and Throat Dr. I need to hurry and get tubes in those boys' ears. I can't stand them being sick one week, antibiotics the next. It hinders development in my opinion. Brody doesn't eat, sleep or act normal when sick, as do most kids but he has three ear infections in just less than 2 months. With all of Brody's ear infections combined with his delays I am worried for Ryan and hoping that once the tubes are in hopefully he will talk on time.

On that note there has been lots going on with Brody. He is mimicking more and trying to talk more. Saying the first part of a few words BUT at the same time his behavior has gotten worse. I can't explain it properly but as his mother who is always around him I have noticed it. I am trying to not get discouraged. Some of the "lots going on with Brody" that I was referring to means lots of appointments. We are trying to get Brody a diagnosis. His special ed teachers from summer school think it is more than just delays (which is what we were told originally when he was 18 months). But the school won't re-evaluate till he is transitioning to Kindergarten and that is two years away and if there is something more going on with him I AM NOT WAITING THAT LONG. Jake and I then decided to see if our insurance would pay for an evaluation. It has to be by a psychologist or medical doctor. So we have appointments with a 0-5 years old specialist this month and then a psychologist in October. Then Brody's pediatrician is referring us to a developmental Dr. We are waiting on some paper work before that appointment can be set up. Unfortunately that one will still probably take a while since he is a specialist Dr. and they are always booked. But I am very eager for that appointment cause that Dr is part of Arizona Child Study Center at St. Joseph's Hospital. So those appointments coming up should really help us know once and for all if Brody just has delays or if it something more serious (some have suggested Autism Spectrum Disorder).

Also we got some bittersweet news this week as well. Brody qualified for Arizona Long Term Care. It is not great news in that it means there is enough wrong with Brody for him to qualify but it is great news cause while Brody is in preschool he could not receive any other therapy unless he was on Long Term Care. So now, in addition to special ed preschool, Brody can have individual speech therapy, occupational therapy and habilitation to work on some goals.

I am trying to stay positive. Some days it is difficult. But many family and friends pray for us. We have lots of support. Other days I very much realize that things could be worse with Brody. He is healthy and happy. Brody starts school again later this week. I am sure more improvements will be made through school.

Oh and I almost forgot...Ryan now has two teeth

My boys can be a handful but I love my children and I am grateful for all that our family has been blessed with!

Brody has so many wonderful cousins he has been able to spend a lot of time with this summer!

And as always our constant buddy Evan

One of the things Brody has loved to do is color. But he wants someone to color with him. This picture is from the other day when Jake was coloring with him and that combined with no nap that day meant....

He fell asleep while Jake was coloring with him

Despite the handful Brody can be with the screaming and tantrums he is such a fun little boy and we are thankful for him and his beautiful smile