Eventful weekend

This weekend was a fun time for our family. Saturday was the day we celebrated Brody's birthday.


We started out by seeing Toy Story 3. It was Brody's first time seeing a movie in theaters. The AMC theater by us has this wonderful type of screening called, "Sensory Friendly Showing". They only have them about once a month. Anyone can go to them but they are geared towards special needs children. For Brody it was the perfect way to see a movie. The lights are a up, the sound isn't as loud as normal and children are free to make noise, sing, dance and run around. It was a great environment for children like Brody. I thought at some point the big screen or some intense part of the movie would overwhelm him and cause a big tantrum. But he sat still in his seat for the first 25 minutes then ran around for a while and then watched the last 20 minutes (he moved to the front row for that last part - I guess he wanted to be close). We were joined by family which was nice to feel support cause I am sure it wasn't the ideal movie experience for them. It was such a cute movie but I am sure it would have been even better if I would have heard more. We might try another one some time just to see how he does having already experienced it.

Then onto lunch at our house with hamburgers and hot dogs. There were a few presents, singing happy birthday and then wheat and dairy free cupcakes. The best was seeing Brody's adorable, sweet face light up while everyone was surrounding him and singing Happy Birthday.

Sad to say the day was so busy with Jake and I were in crazy dealing with kids/playing host that we didn't get ONE picture of the birthday celebration.



Sunday after church we drove out to our friends who I used to nanny for - well I was a nanny first and then became a friend because I love that family. They live out in the pretty part of the desert in as far North Scottsdale as you can go (I actually drive through Fountain Hills to get there). I used to really enjoy the scenic drive surrounded by beautiful mountains for about a year and half. Glenn was on the road but we had dinner, swimming, playtime and chatting with Shannon and Gage. Gage was just under 2 years old when I started watching him and then I stopped watching him shortly after his 3rd birthday. He is 5 years old now and just as big as can be and he talks so grown up. Brody of course was overjoyed to swim. Ryan loved trying to walk around their nice house with greasy pizza! Jake and I really enjoyed being around Gage again. It was nice to catch up with Shannon cause the visit was long overdue there was lots to chat about.

It was such a nice Sunday evening especially cause it is about 10 degrees cooler where they live!!


Normally I would never post a picture with me looking like this cause, as you can see, I for some reason am having a "fat face" problem. Plus I am in a bathing suit and the dress to cover didn't end up covering that much. I realize my face has gotten fatter over the years but I know I don't look that bad. But I decided to sacrifice my pride to show off this cute picture with Gage and the miracle that is- Ryan looking at the camera.

Shannon and Gage
This picture is from February of 2007, the month after I started taking care of Gage. Gage is 23 months and Brody is 8 months!!


I am sad to not take care of Gage and see him a few days a week but I love that little boy as if he were my own. Jake and I were talking on the way home Sunday night (trying to talk over Ryan's screams) and we are both grateful for the chance I had to work while still being able to take Brody with me and earn an income. But more so Jake and I are grateful to have Shannon, Glenn and Gage in our lives...even if we don't see them all the time. Crazy how some people come into our lives and make such an impact.


All and all it was a lovely weekend for Brody and our family. We are blessed with a wonderful family and amazing friends!!

Happy Father's Day to all

We had an interesting Father's Day. I wanted to spoil my man who does so much for our little family to show my thanks, especially cause he does such a good job doing the same for me come mother's day. Unfortuately this year's father's day was the weekend following getting my wisdom teeth out so I was sort of out of comission. But Jake is grateful for the little things. He got cold cereal in the morning and as long as he got to watch a little World Cup he was good.

I am so thankful for him and to all fathers for the special role you play in the life of your child - big and small.

My little 4 year old!

I don't want to be a "downer" on my son's birthday. But birthdays are one of many things that are bittersweet for me with Brody. I want to be up front about these feelings cause I am hoping by getting them "out there" I will start to either deal with or at least get over it long enough to just be happy and enjoy the celebration of his birthday. I also don't want to be fake and act like Brody's birthday is the same as any other child his age.

Brody still doesn't really talk. There is the occasional word or two. Recently he will quote along with a few words or phrases of a video or song in the video but I would still say Brody doesn't talk. Brody doesn't comprehend a lot of things. Brody has no idea what a birthday is or what it is all about. Sure he loves the happy birthday song and he gets the biggest grin on his face when he hears it. You can tell from how he acts that he knows something like cake or a cupcake come right after the song. But when it comes to a birthday being a celebration of a someones birth he has no idea. Also to date he doesn't understand unwrapping or being given a gift. For Christmas or Birthdays I have always had to unwrap it and show it to him. This might seem no big deal since he is four but after having a child for four years you'd think the day would come that I could feel like I am truly celebrating his birthday with him. Picking out Elmo stuff for his birthday. Seeing him excited to open his presents. Saying thank you to all the family and friends that bought him a present. Telling me and Jake what he wants for his birthday...you know all the things that children do for their birthdays.

More so than that I get sad when it is Brody's birthday cause many parents reflect about how far their child has come since birth. Other than Brody growing physically Brody has not developed normally in most ways. Brody babbles nonsense. Brody doesn't understand he has a brother let alone a cousin or aunt. Brody can't communicate what he wants. Brody doesn't know what a friend is let alone have one at school or at church. He is about a year and two months away from starting kindergarten and there is no way he will be in normal class. So as a mother I am looking forward to a special education program for my child. I never know what Brody will able to do in his life. All of these things make it tough to sit and reflect about the past four years or even the next four years without crying and being sad.

I love and adore my son. I feel that I am not being negative or a downer when I think about all that Brody isn't doing. I love him so much and want him to have a regular and normal life BECAUSE of the love I feel for him. I do realize he has come a long way in just a year but there is a long road a head and sometimes I can't even see the road I just know it is somewhere out there.

I do what I can not to fixate on these things and focus my energy into helping Brody improve and come to terms with it all. But everyday that acceptance and moving on comes very tough for me. I try to comfort myself by thinking, even though Brody doesn't say "mommy" or "I love you" each embrace says it all as I feel his love in that hug. Each time he looks right into my eyes with those brown eyes and long lashes and I feel he is actually looking at me he is trying to tell me all he feels.

Some of these feelings may not make sense to some who don't know much about a child with autism or another mental disability. Just know it is tough for families like ours. We love Brody and though it hasn't been the four years I imagined when he was born I cannot imagine our life without him. I am so thankful for this child who is always happy and has the best smile and cutest giggle.

Now that the "downer" stuff is out of the way here are some pictures of Brody over the years.

My 4 year old today

The next three pictures are fun cause they were taken at his birthday party

3 years old

2 years old

1 year old

6 months old

Right after my little Brody was born

4 years ago I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy

I was in love as soon as I saw him

I also wasn't sure how I was going to do this whole "mothering" thing. I remember feeling overwhelmed cause I was responsible for everything with this baby

But the love was so strong I knew I would make due

And I do make due to be a good mother to this little boy

Everyday I learn and grow to be the right mother to this special child that lights up my life

Kids being kids

P.S. Have you realized yet that Ryan has been posing for the camera and his "posing face" is just too cute!! It is practically the only face he can make for the camera. It cracks me up.

A short getaway

So I have no pictures at all to share or prove as evidence but this weekend me and my best friend Amber drove to California to visit our other best friend Natalie. Natalie along with her husband Matt and three adorable children recently moved to a place called Temecula.

It was a short weekend trip which was sort of nice cause it meant no extra planning for a sitter (Jake is home on the weekend), I only had to take one bag and shorter trips mean less expenses.

I was able to be with Natalie and Amber for an ENTIRE weekend which means hours upon hours of chatting and catching up...especially for me and Amber on the way there and back.

As much as I love and adore my little ones it was a nice stress free weekend. I had no worries and stresses that come with children and traveling with children.

It was wonderful to see Natalie's new home and life in Cali. I am so happy for the opportunity her and Matt had to move there. Temecula is really beautiful city.

Also nice to get away from the everyday life of taking care of my kids, the heat of Arizona, taking care of other kids, maintaining a house and everything that comes with it.

I also loved coming back. Experiencing the happiness and joy that comes from a weekend away. So excited come home to people I love and know how much I love and enjoy Jake and my little boys.

It is silly cause it was just a short simple, relaxing, hanging out weekend but a lot of good came from it and since I had no pictures from the trip I wanted to post something about it.

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This picture of course wasn't from the trip but it is the most recent pictures of "my girls". My best friends, these women who have always been there for me no matter how crazy my life or their life is - you know those friends you can tell anything to and that you can laugh hysterically with at 3:30 in the morning till your cheeks hurt. Yes, these are the amazing women who I was able to spend an entire weekend with. I am not one of those people who have a ton of friends. I have always had a few close friends. But what is great is that I don't have to worry about gossiping, backbiting, fights, arguments or anything petty. We are lifelong, eternal friends and these women are a place of solace and refuge in life. They are great and wonderful and I am so blessed to have them in my life.

Kids cost money

Not that it is news to anyone that children cost money

Lately Jake and I have realized that our wonderful children seem to cost more money than others (or I am just a bad mother to not have my eye on them every five seconds).

So far to date:

Brody has flushed an ipod down the toilet (at 2 yrs old) = $100

Brody flushed the lid of a Vaseline lid down the toilet costing us a new toilet = $180

Ryan ruined our home theater system = $300

Total = $580

So I believe Jake and I will be encouraging our boys to get after school jobs as soon as they are 16 years old so they can start paying us back for the stuff they broke/flushed!!

There was this phrase Jake and his siblings grew up hearing from Cliff, "you kids just destroy, destroy, destroy"...boy was he right!!!!!