Miller's bloggy blog blog: Here's the story...

So our little baby boy came about 3 weeks early and smack in the middle of a crazy time. As my other posts told, our family has been pretty sick lately. Lots has happened since I last posted and I'd like to give a detailed account. Again, this isn't necessarily for the readers of this blog but more so for my own recording and journal.

The last real post I put up on the blog was on Jake's birthday and it was all about how sick Jake was at the time. The afternoon of Jake's birthday I had an OB appointment. It was a normal weekly appointment but also to discuss the results of my second ultrasound I got the day before. The ultrasound was mostly checking on the size of the baby since Brody was sort of on the big my dr wanted to make sure the time of my scheduled induction (March 2nd) was timely with the growth of the baby and all. Jake didn't come with me to the appointment because he was still getting rest after being up most the night throwing up. Donna was watching Brody. As with Brody, this pregnancy has been very healthy and very normal so I rarely expect to get any important news or updates from my dr so I don't really care to go on my own. At this appointment my dr said that the measurements of the amniotic fluid taken at the previous day's ultrasound were too low and she would like me to go to the hospital immediately to get another more in depth ultrasound and monitor the baby for a little bit. Depending on results of those things labor might need to be induced OR I would be put on bed rest for the rest of my pregnancy. I didn't like hearing either of those. As miserable as I was being pregnant I liked Brody being a little on the big size and according to the ultrasound taken the baby was only a little more than 6 pounds at the time. But on the other hand I am not sure how bed rest would work for me. Brody is pretty physically demanding and I don't really have a friend, relative or spouse who could just help me all day everyday for the next few weeks. I tried to stay calm and I drove home and picked Jake up. I knew, though he was sick, he would not want me at the hospital without him which I was glad he felt that way cause I really wanted him to be with me throughout everything.

I actually woke Jake up from a nap with my confusing news and as he was attempted to wake up and try to come to terms with the two scenarios we were faced with I was trying to as well. I hope that doesn't sound dramatic cause I know both are pretty tame when it comes to child birth - have a baby a couple weeks early or go on bed rest. Nothing that bad was wrong with me or the baby but it was more so the decisions coming out of nowhere and trying to come to terms with them when in the past 5 days all I have done was focus on taking care of a pretty sick toddler and now today Jake was sick.

So after the ultrasound and monitoring of the baby my dr still felt more comfortable inducing labor now rather than wait and risk the fluid getting any lower and something possibly happening to the baby. We were admitted Thursday night around 7 pm to the hospital and by midnight I was starting to feel contractions, not very strong but still very much there. The labor progressed and by late morning / early afternoon of the next day -Friday- I had dilated a couple more centimeters and thinned out more so I got an epidural.

Now with Brody I had a great experience with my epidural. It hurt to get it but really helped manage my pain and considering I gave birth to an 8 1/2 lb baby it was nice to have it. I stayed calm, no screaming and I was able to get through it really well. So based on that experience I saw no reason why I didn't want an epidural for this birth. Unfortunately, with this birth it was TOTALLY different. As the Anesthesiologist was putting in the catheter for the epidural she hit a nerve (a normal risk in getting an epidural). I reacted automatically and flinched and moved. As a result of moving the dr hit my spine and a little spinal fluid leaked out. As soon as the procedure was over the dr and the nurse told me that due to that happening there was a 90% chance I would get what is called a "spinal headache" anywhere between 24 and 48 hours after the epidural was put in. A spinal headache is probably the worst headache possible. Imagine your worst headache and times that by ten million and that is what a spinal headache feels like!! And on top of all of that I don't think the epidural worked very well because I felt A LOT more pain than I should have and the nurses kept having to put additional pain medicine directly into my IV to help manage the pain.

I tried not to think about the headache that might come and focus on what I was there to do...have a baby!! From there the contractions and dilation progressed it was only a matter of hours and our little Ryan Michael arrived a few minutes before 5 pm. Jake and I had just recently changed from the name Carter to Ryan but not many knew so the name came as a surprise to some of our family and friends. He has a full head of hair which was the opposite of Brody but other than the hair Ryan looks a lot like his older brother.

But considering Ryan was born 3 weeks before his due date we are blessed that he is perfectly healthy except for needing to catch up a bit on his weight!

The story after Ryan's birth I only mention for my own account. One of the biggest signs of a spinal headache is the person will only feel some relief when they lay down. I felt the headache as soon as I had to get out of bed to be taken to a recovery room. It was unbearable and I knew pretty soon after I felt it hit me that the doctors would have to perform a blood patch to fix the spinal leak. I was so upset because I was nervous I would move again since the procedure is performed basically the way an epidural is and to make it worse the blood to "patch" the leak would need to be drawn from me simultaneously. So I was taken to recovery Friday evening and suffered through the night and then Saturday morning they performed the procedure. I was dreading the procedure but knowing that with this headache I couldn't hold my new baby, couldn't really sit up to eat and definitely couldn't feed my new baby I knew that I'd rather find quick relief. And as I dreaded it was horrible and to make it worse the Anesthesiologist and his nurse made me stressed and tense cause they were acting like they were needing to rush during the procedure which made everything worse cause I needed to calm my body and let my back curve out for the doctor to make it work. So after the chaos of the procedure was done, I was helped back into bed and I was given pain medicine. Within an hour I felt a lot better but it was still really difficult to move my neck or back. Jake and my nurse were amazing throughout it all and really helped me get through it without me succumbing to my pain or mental doubt of ever getting better. Also since I was so reliant on Jake the other nurses were great and able to take Ryan to the nursery and they took such great care of him with feedings and changes plus they raved about how cute he was! As horrible as it all was I was in the hands of wonderfully caring nurses and an amazing husband. Also I guess I should be grateful that their is a way to cure a spinal headache other than just pain medicine. I spent the rest of Saturday and most the day Sunday resting and recovering. We left the hospital Sunday afternoon and I was feeling really good.

Unfortunately by late Sunday night I felt the spinal headache come back. I am not sure if the blood patch didn't take or perhaps once I was home I over-exerted myself which caused it to come back (after the blood patch I couldn't lift anything heavier than my newborn for the first 4 days). We talked to the on-call Anesthesiologist at the hospital and he said spend 24 to 72 hours laying down, drinking lots of liquids and lots of caffeine and see if it will go away on its own. If it didn't he said there my need to be another blood patch!! So I followed his advice all day Monday and Tuesday. This was agony for me physically cause I was in pain but also mentally cause Jake had to wait on me hand and foot and it meant other people and Jake had to take care of Brody (who I hadn't seen for almost 4 days and was looking forward to seeing) and Ryan who I had just given birth to. There were lots of tears and prayers on my part. I was very lucky to have such an awesome husband who totally stepped up to the plate with all his responsibilities AND the rest of my family that helped us out, especially my mother-in-law who had already spent days taking care of Brody. Things were made worse because Brody was still having some vomiting and diarrhea from his stomach virus in the midst of all of this.

By Tuesday night I was still not any better so Jake and I went to the ER (as we were advised). Ironically with my condition only being relieved with laying down the ER wait was 2 1/2 hrs of me sitting up in a chair. I was in a bed with an IV of pain medicine which really knocked me out and I was thankful to feel some relief. Jake and I then had to wait a few hours while the Anesthesiologist was suppose to return a call to the ER doctor so that he got his input on how to treat me and what my options were. So in the meantime along with the medication I was put on an they put me on a slow drip of fluids and caffeine (the fluids and caffeine help replenish the fluids in my head that the spinal fluid is leaking out or something to that effect). Then we had the talk with the doctor because he finally heard back from the Anesthesiologist. My biggest question was answered - would a blood patch be necessary or could the headache go away on its own after a couple days. The answer was yes the headache would go away with time and the leak would heal itself. The blood patch is just more immediate relief and since I had already had one the likelihood of a second blood patch taking the pain completely away was just a few percent more. So my decision was I would let the bag of fluid finish ask for strong pain medicine and hope that in a day or two things would be better instead of going through a painful procedure which wouldn't for sure cure me. Jake and I left the ER at about 2:30 am which was sucked that it took so long but I was feeling better with the fluids and fresh pain meds in me. So by Thursday afternoon I was feeling MUCH better. I trusted in my instinct and was right that the stuff they did in the ER helped and so did some follow up rest.

These past few days I finally felt like myself again and like I had my life back. I was so desperate to spend time with Brody again and get to know my new little baby. Also I was eager to relieve Jake from waiting on me so much. The whole experience was crazy now that I think back on it. I learned a lot about myself and my family. My family (both Jake and my own) are amazing and I am blessed to have them and grateful for all they do for me. The hellish time I spent in bed made me eager to take care of my children instead of feeling overwhelmed now that I have two little ones. There are other feelings that I could share but they are more spiritual and emotional to share in detail. Lets just say I am grateful for a Lord who hears my prayers and answers them, even if its not when or how I'd like them answered!!

Below are some pictures we've taken since we have been home. I threw in a couple of Brody. One I love cause it shows him in his new favorite thing - a baby swing! Brody hasn't really paid too much attention to Ryan. Sometimes he looks at him and smiles or touches his feet or head. At this point I don't mind cause I'd rather have him not really care than pay too much attention and scratch, hit or throw out of a baby swing or something. Ryan is doing good as well. He falls asleep instead of eating but he is beautiful and we all love his full head of dark hair. He is pretty tiny so hopefully he will chunk up soon.